Bowery: Pizza Roma, which serves tasty Roman pies in the West Village, debuts today at the pizza station in the Bowery Whole Foods Market. Three types of pizza will be available: margherita, zucchini, and patate (cheese and potatoes). Don’t miss the free samples. [Grub Street]
East Village: Beginning January 28, Zi’ Pep will add brunch to its range of Southern Italian culinary offerings. Cravings for sparkling sangria or a frittata alla carbonara will be satisfied Saturdays and Sundays at 424 East 9th Street. [Grub Street]

Lower East Side: 2nd Floor on Clinton will be host to Duo Scorpio for two nights of harp performances later this month. The harpists played previously with Florence + the Machine at the Met Gala. Make your reservation for Monday, January 30 or Tuesday, January 31. [Grub Street]
Noho: It’s never too early to begin planning the perfect Valentine’s Day date night, and it might be tough to top this idea from the Astor Center: a night of bacon and bourbon tasting on February 14 from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at 399 Lafayette Street. Tickets are $45 per person and can be reserved online. [Grub Street]
West Village: Lowcountry will be closed for renovations until January 21. Where will we get our fried-chicken-biscuit fix in the meantime? [Eater NY]

Filed Under: neighborhood watch, 2nd floor on clinton, booker and dax, lowcountry, momofuku ssam, openings, pizza roma, the astor center, zi pep

• 0 Comments

So, the shit-people-say meme has finally hit the food-and-drink world — what took so long, Internet? — in the form of “Shit Bartenders Mixologists Say.” Anyone who’s ever been pissed that they couldn’t just order a Stoli-and-soda and lovers of the hard shake alike will get what this dude’s talking about.

Read more posts by Alan Sytsma

Filed Under: video feed, shit bartenders say

• 0 Comments

Bounty!

“I’m a working-class American living in a middle-sized city in 2012, which means I have more access to more volume and variety of food than almost anyone ever has in the history of the world.” —Denver Post departing food editor Tucker Shaw signs off by reminding all us food snobs how good we’ve got it. [Denver Post via John Willoughby/Twitter]

Read more posts by Alan Sytsma

Filed Under: quote of the day, tucker shaw

• 0 Comments

It’s 4 p.m., and that means it’s time to play Two for Eight. We just asked ten restaurants the best time they can squeeze a couple in for dinner; you need only make your chosen reservation. (As always, we make the calls but don’t guarantee the results.) Today: New & Buzzy.

ABC Kitchen (Menu)
212-475-5829
Two for eight? No
Best available: Fully booked

Beauty & Essex (Menu)
212-614-0146
Two for eight? No
Best available: 8:30 p.m.

Brushstroke (Menu)
212-791-3771
Two for eight? No
Best available: 8:45 p.m.

Crown (Menu)
646-559-4880
Two for eight? No
Best available: 8:15 p.m.

The Dutch (Menu)
212-677-6200
Two for eight? No
Best available: Fully booked

Empellón (Menu)
212-367-0999
Two for eight? Yes

Miss Lily’s (Menu)
646-588-5375
Two for eight? Yes

Osteria Morini (Menu)
212-965-8777
Two for eight? No
Best available: 10:15 p.m.

Red Rooster (Menu)
212-792-9001
Two for eight? No
Best available: Fully booked

Saxon + Parole (Menu)
212-254-0350
Two for eight? No
Best available: 8:45 p.m.

Filed Under: abc kitchen, beauty and essex, brushstroke, crown, empellon, miss lilys, osteria morini, red rooster, saxon and parole, the dutch, two tor eight

• 0 Comments

Bacalao confitado.

We already told you about Mercado on Kent’s three woodburning ovens, and now it’s time for a look at the menu. The Basque taverna is helmed by chef Peru Almandoz, with Johnny Peralta (Balthazar) turning out bread for the toasts, sandwiches, and other carb-y items. Meat heads can dig into charcuterie, suckling pig, and — if you hit the day right — a grass-fed rib eye for two. See some food and the 80-seat restaurant and market in our slideshow, plus scope the menu below.

Menu [PDF]

Mercado on Kent, 291 Kent Ave., at S. 2nd St., Williamsburg; 718-782-8810

Earlier: Mercado on Kent Has Not One But Three Wood-burning Ovens

Read more posts by Jenny Miller

Filed Under: openings, mercado on kent, slideshow, spanish, williamsburg, woodburning ovens

• 0 Comments

Take a load of that.

Cheese is getting crapped on by a provocative campaign by the nonprofit Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, who commissioned two potent billboards in Albany on Tuesday. The point is to remind people that cheese, in all its saturated fat, will make you unwell and unattractive. Cheese-whores (love you), are calling the advertisements insane, noting that while obesity is an enormous problem in Albany, there are bigger fish to fry at the supermarket. [Times Union]

Read more posts by Alyssa Shelasky

Filed Under: free brie, obesity

• 0 Comments

The (totally vegan) broccoli tempura sub.

As promised, No. 7 Sub is opening in Greenpoint, and tonight’s the night. We spoke with chef Tyler Kord, who’s partnered with Weather Up Tribeca vets Matthew Maddy and Ian Sugarman. In contrast to the original’s dearth of seats, this one has 50 spots and … beer, wine, and cocktails. Kord tells us he’s jazzed about a screwdriver made with cara cara oranges, clementines, and Tito’s Vodka. As you’d expect, a new location means new subs — including a brisket version with sauerkraut and Swiss, and a new broccoli sub made with the tempura broccoli beloved at No. 7, marinara sauce, olives, and peppers. “I feel like there’s probably never been an occasion when a vegan person gets to eat a super Italian sub,” Kord says. Doors open around 5 or 6 p.m. tonight — it’s dinner only for now, with lunch to follow. Get ready with our photos of the subs and the space.

Menu [PDF]

No. 7 Sub, 931 Manhattan Ave., nr. Kent St., Greenpoint; 718-389-7775

Related: No. 7 Sub’s Tyler Kord Taste-Tests New York’s New Chain-Sandwich Subs

Read more posts by Jenny Miller

Filed Under: openings, greenpoint, no. 7 sub, slideshow, tyler kord

• 0 Comments

Knock, Knock.

According to one well-qualified food writer, Burger King’s brand-new, at-home delivery service resulted in a “pretty darn good” lunch, the high being the meal itself, the low being the long wait. He also describes the customer-friendly online ordering process as easy as buying diapers, a comparison Grub Street might not have made to illustrate a yummy point, but we get what he’s saying. [WP]

Read more posts by Alyssa Shelasky

Filed Under: fast food news, burger king

• 0 Comments

I left in a mild delirium. My stomach was full of well executed food and my mouth still carried the rich flavors they…

Talde

369 Seventh Avenue, New York

(347) 916-0031

• 0 Comments

With a focus on paninis, the lunch menu is rather limited and simple, but the food is homemade with care. The place…

Bread

20 Spring St, New York

(212) 334-1015

• 0 Comments

“Barkeep! One vodka–Red Bull, please!”

The explosion of bars that specialize in complicated, labor-intensive, ingredient-driven cocktails has truly been a wondrous thing for those of us who enjoy drinking. It has also made the act of actually ordering drinks in bars more complicated than it once was. (And not just because it means you are now expected to know the proper pronunciation of Cynar.) There are a zillion different kinds of bars that specialize in a zillion different ways to drink — you’ve got your pre-Prohibition places, your tiki places, your high-end science-y places, your ironic pseudo-dive bars, your non-ironic actual-dive bars, your hotel bars, your bar-bars that have been around forever, etc. And while you can always order something from a drink menu, there comes a time in every drinker’s life when he or she needs to place a drink order unchaperoned. Here’s how to do it correctly.

Ordering a drink that isn’t listed on a bar’s drink menu — if the bar even has a menu — is less a question of etiquette and more one of metaphysics. It’s not rude to order the wrong drink at a bar, but you’ll still look like an asshole. Most bartenders are willing to accommodate whatever the customer orders, but as Jackson Cannon, bar manager at Eastern Standard in Boston, told me, “it may be a disaster.”

For instance, I once ordered a martini at an Irish bar — as in, a bar in Ireland, not McSmithy’s Pub in Omaha or wherever — and after much hemming and hawing from the bartender, ended up with a Collins glass full of ice, two ounces of gin, and like five ounces of vermouth. Alternatively, Todd Maul, bar manager at Clio in Boston, told me about a customer who approached his bar and ordered three Heinekens. Upon hearing that the bar didn’t carry that beer, the customer switched his order to three raspberry Stolis, and when Maul told him that the bar didn’t carry that, either, the guy asked, “What kind of bar is this?”

Which is precisely the question everyone should ask themselves before figuring out what they want to drink. Just as a martini order won’t fly in Ireland, Stoli-and-soda isn’t your best bet at a serious-minded cocktail joint. You wouldn’t go to Paris just to eat a Big Mac, right? Similarly, don’t just go for some knee-jerk drink order. Survey the landscape and make a quick plan.

Remember this: Even though your bartender is there to accommodate you, you will go far in life if you also accommodate your bartender.

Note: We aren’t talking about beer and wine here — almost all bars offer those to at least some degree, and they tend to stock products commensurate in quality with the bar’s. We’re talking about mixed drinks, since that category can vary so wildly. To help you navigate, the team here at Sloshed HQ has come up with some guidelines to fit any bar: These are the five circles of appropriate drinking. (Think of it like Google Plus, but with the possibility of liver damage.) When considering your drink order, you need to think about the bar’s vibe; evaluate the available ingredients on the back bar; assess how common your drink order is as well as how difficult the drink is to actually make (for example, do not order a Ramos Gin Fizz just anywhere). Once you’ve considered these variables, you can pick the drink you want from the prescribed list of acceptable cocktails.

The Basics
Drinks at this level are like the lingua franca of most bars in this country. There is little confusion about what you are ordering and no worry that the bar won’t carry the necessary ingredients.

Where to Order: Pubs, real dive bars, any place that advertises its season-long NFL Sunday Ticket subscription or lights up its vodka bottles.

What to Order: This is the most barren of all drink circles, and you’ll want to get no more ambitious than various combos of booze and ice, or drinks that require one spirit and one mixer: gin and tonic, Jack ‘n’ Coke, Scotch and soda — you get the idea.

Foolproof Classics
These are the drinks that everyone should know how to make. If you get a blank stare when you order from this circle, that’s the bartender’s fault, not yours. And if that does happen, you can also explain the drink’s recipe knowing the bar will almost certainly stock the necessary ingredients. Shoot low here: You may think everyone should know how to make a Sidecar, but that’s just a sign that you are spoiled. Avoid citrus drinks or anything that would require fresh ingredients.

Where to Order: Ironic dive bars and places that stock one bottle of bitters and no more than three kinds of vodka. Also, there might be a TV playing sports, but that sport is baseball.

What to Order: Martinis, Manhattans, and old-fashioneds are good go-tos (provided you’re confident the bar doesn’t put stuff like orange wedges in any of the those drinks), but be wary of any drink order that requires precision. Jackson Cannon actually suggests going with a Negroni here, and his reasoning is solid: The drink is simple and the proportions are as easy as they come. Campari, gin, and sweet vermouth in equal measure. And it’s served on the rocks, which means it’s supposed to be a little watered-down.

The Jigger Set
Here we ascend from the material to the sympathetic. Drinks at this level are composed of simple, standard ingredients, but can be unpleasant if made poorly.

Where to Order: Places that stock at least a couple of bottles of rye, simple syrup, more than one type of bitters, and give their house cocktails names like “Dante’s Inferno” or “Mama’s Little Helper” or whatever. In other words, places that are trying to be Death & Co. but aren’t quite operating at that high level.

What to Order: Any drinks from the foolproof classics will be made far better here, but you can also get into more interesting cocktail territory. Sazeracs, Aviations, and French 75s are all good. Just stay away from anything that requires more than basic juices and standard ingredients.

Advanced Techniques
Now we’re getting into it. These are the kinds of drinks that tempt people to use the word “mixologist” when talking about the bartenders.

Where to Order: Places that purchase specialized equipment expressly made for concocting drinks. High-power blenders, sieves, those little apothecary bottles that hold things like homemade syrups, bitters, or homeopathic medicine.

What to Order: Go bold with your order. If a bartender calls himself a mixologist, you might as well make him work for the title. You can feel safe ordering drinks that require egg whites, multiple types of the same kind of spirit, or fire, but probably not all three in tandem. Here is also where you’ll find the collection of nouveau tiki bars that have opened in the last couple of years. If you end up in one of these places — and you will know it when you do — order a Mai Tai or Piña Colada; it will change your opinion of how good those drinks can be.

The Double Black Diamonds
This is the upper echelon. Here, you can order pretty much anything your nerdy cocktail brain can imagine. In fact, you don’t even have to have a specific drink order in mind: Just list off the kind of stuff you like — “I’ve been doing a lot with applejack lately, but was in the mood for something that is basically a crusta.” — and you’ll have it.

Where to Order: Is the bar called PDT or Mr. Lew’s Win-Win Bar or the Hawthorne or Clio? If you know those bars, I trust your judgement.

What to Order: This is graduate-level drinking, and as is the case in actual graduate school, vaguely free-forming your thoughts is the best option. That said, a few otherwise unavailable classic drinks show up in this circle, too: the Vieux Carre, Widow’s Kiss, and any kind of Corpse Reviver should be reserved for this kind of drinking.

As always, these are guidelines, not hard-and-fast rules. If you find yourself in a sports bar, but the bartender has a handlebar mustache and you spy a copy of Dr. Cocktail’s Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails tucked behind the bar, by all means adjust your order accordingly. And if you’re a big tipper, order whatever the hell you want because money immediately renders every drink order less lousy.

Matthew Latkiewicz writes about drinking and other subjects at You Will Not Believe. His work has appeared in McSweeney’s, Wired, Time.com, Boing Boing, and Gastronomica. Follow him on Twitter.

Earlier: Sloshed: The Real Guide to Appropriate Drinking Ages

Read more posts by Matthew Latkiewicz

Filed Under: sloshed, booze you can use

• 0 Comments

She’s cooking and kvelling.

Here’s something cute: Blossom has a blog! It’s filled with Jewish-mama woes and lotsa recipes for chicken soup, kreplach, and, like, a thousand different kugels. Also, she’s had three kids, is super-relig, and is having some body-image issues that we can all blame on Beyoncé. But, Mayim, vas masta with Joey Lawrence? [Kveller]

Read more posts by Alyssa Shelasky

Filed Under: kveller, mayim bialik

• 0 Comments